Way back, in my mid twenties, I was the MD of a legal (not criminal) retail business. I had to clarify that, so you wouldn't get it confused with anything to do with lawyers etc. In fact, all the previous information is totally irrelevant to this story.
My best mate was also a very successful businessman. Who cares, you ask? It's relevant because, every Friday, we had a boozy lunch together in a very popular and somewhat expensive business luncheon restaurant. The food and wine were excellent as were the strippers and topless waitresses. It was also a place where, after several bottles of wine, we solved the problems of the world and our businesses.
One particular afternoon, while on bottle three or four, or something like that. we were both bitching about having recently been sued, albeit unfairly, as is always the case. One of us brilliantly came up with the idea of having a new best friend who could help us in such situations...a Magistrate!
At that time, we were aware of a single Magistrate who was still living at home with his mum. What could possibly go wrong? Over a period of a few months, we managed to "run into him" at a number social functions and, to our surprise, formed a friendship with him and invited him to join us for one of our Friday lunches.
Now to digress for a moment. As I previously mentioned, the restaurant had strippers as entertainment. One in particular was a tall, beautiful, Cook Island girl with a great body and very funny. Obviously, she was immensely popular. Except she wasn't born a girl. The only thing that gave her away was her 5 o'clock shadow. She never removed her bikini bottoms, so that was never an issue. One day, she just vanished. We later found out that she had gone to Thailand to complete the transition.
Meanwhile, our friendship with our new friend was going well and he became a semi-regular at our lunches. We also found out that he was a virgin, which is why he probably enjoyed the lunches so much. I daresay that they were stimulating for him. What could possibly go wrong?
I forgot to mention that we had a permanent Friday booking at a raised semi circular booth towards the back of the restaurant.
On this particular Friday, about 3 bottle o'clock, our missing stripper was back. It was the first time our Magistrate friend had seen her. I swear his glasses fogged up, he broke out into a sweat and , I swear, he started drooling. Bloody disgusting!
He was sitting between my mate and me and we both awkwardly shifted as far away from him as possible. After Jazzie (not her name) finished her show, she walked up to our table to have a drink, as usual. What could possibly go wrong?
The first thing she did was lift up her skirt, sans panties, and proudly said, "Look what I've got!". What could possibly go wrong! My mate told her it was lovely and asked her to kindly put it away.
That's when she noticed our new friend. Now Jazzie was never shy (strange, that). She promptly climbed across me and plonked herself down next to the virgin Magistrate After a few minutes of chatter, all from Jazzie, Our new mate was bright red and panting. Jazzie noticed his discomfort and provided her idea of calming the situation. She promptly grabbed his hand and jammed it between her legs, saying something like<"How good does this feel?". What could possibly go wrong?
When she found out that our Magistrate was a virgin, she took him home with her. Since she was technically a virgin too, it probably seemed appropriate to her.
That's what could possibly go wrong!
My mate and I never saw him again. we later heard from the restaurant manager that they had moved in together. God bless them.
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